Hold up! Before you and your partner start sending each other links to the home of your dreams, have a few conversations about the home buying process.
A couple buying a house should talk about money, of course, but also about their expectations for their first home. Talking now will keep you productive, positive, and focused on finding the right house. It will also help you manage "buying-a-house" stress on your relationship.
OK, we’re about to get a little “Modern Love” here.
#1 Get On the Same Page About Expectations
No matter how connected you two are, there are still unspoken and undefined expectations between you. Especially when it comes to a couple buying a house. Buying can reveal relationship problems, because it’s the biggest financial transaction you’ll make, and there are a lot of emotions and expectations tied up in the idea of home.
Listen to your partner and commit to the idea that each person has a voice in every issue.
How to start? Ask questions like:
- Why do you want to buy a house?
- What’s the most important thing to consider, in your opinion?
- How long do you want to live there?
- Do you want something perfect or a fixer-upper?
- What do you think our budget should be?
#2 Be Prepared to Back Down
Not every decision will be 50-50. Equal say is not always the standard.
But both of you should be willing to accept no for an answer. This prevents gridlock. And ceding some control makes the decision on which home to buy a shared one.
#3 Do Scenario Planning
New homes have a way of changing life’s routines.
Does one of you take the dog out? If so, that beautiful sixth-floor walk-up may affect the dog caretaker’s mornings (and moods). Does one of you do most of the outdoor chores? How do you really feel about taking care of a massive lawn? That house that sits on top of a hill is gorgeous, and the views! But will you like hauling bags of groceries up the three flights of stairs to the front door?
The more you think it over together, the happier you’ll both be after you move in.
#4 Ask An Expert
As a couple buying a house, you may be in full agreement or you may be at an impasse, but either way talk to a real estate agent.
A good agent is like a couples counselor and a personal coach in one. They can help you navigate the home buying process, like finding a good mortgage broker or dissecting the details of a home inspection.
An agent can give you the knowledge you need to make a wise decision. And she can pump you and your partner back up when your energy has ebbed because you’ve looked at 22 houses and not seen one worthy of an offer. Or you put in an offer and it fell through.
Leaning on a professional to offer perspective and help work through disappointment releases some buying-a-house stress on a relationship.
#5 Recognize You’re a Team
Involving an agent in the home buying process can have another unexpected outcome.
Having the agent participate in discussions — and even occasionally disagreeing — helps you see that you know each other, you know yourr lifestyle. Anything that will allow you to bond more with your partner is always positive.
Instead of letting buying a house lead to relationship problems, turn the experience into a chance to learn and grow together. Talk. Listen. And get good advice from a smart agent. You’ll end up as homeowners — with an even better connection.
What’s not to love?
As always, if you know anyone getting ready to buy or sell, you know whos' number to give them! ;) If I can ever assist you in any real estate needs give me a call or email! Until next time!
eXp Realtor ® - Serving Saint Lucie County & Surrounding Areas!
Author: Kenedy Carew